Author Topic: The Breakfast of Champions: Part 2  (Read 799 times)

Offline Grinnin_Gin

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The Breakfast of Champions: Part 2
« on: October 22, 2016, 04:14:12 PM »
Behold: The continuation of The Breakfast of Champions.

Read that if you don't want to be totally lost. Enjoy.


Having been dressed, fed, watered, but not caffinated, The Despotic Duo made their way out of the Palace proper and into the streets of Pyroclast. When Sol had first heard the name of the capitol of the Flame Dawn, he had been a bit incredulous. He approved of the whole 'fire and cleansing' theme, but really? When he looked at the rest of the map and saw EVERYTHING had been renamed with fire in mind, he wondered what sort of idiot got to pick the new names.

He glanced to his side, where his 'companion' was currently twirling his hammer by the hilt, whistling merrily all the while. Now he knew exactly what sort of idiot got to name things around here.

It was at this point in time, that Aberion lost control of the hammer, his meaty fingers lacking the dexterity to twirl the hammer properly. The weapon sailed through the air, and then through several walls. And several buildings. And several people.

Aberion paused and squinted through the cloud of dust that was left in the wake of his hammer. Sol prepared himself to follow Aberion to retreive his hammer (ignoring the fact that he could just get a new one, but no, it was his special hammer, and he couldn't just replace it), but then the walking slab of meat that was the leader of the most powerful empire on Talich (also the only empire on Talich) held out his hand.

In a movement that was both facinating and completely disgusting, Sol watched in awe as Aberion's bicep rippled.

And nothing happened.

After several moments of silence after the admittedly impressive use of muscles, Sol opened his mouth to speak before Aberion held up a finger. "Give it a minute." He said, hand still outstretched.

And his hammer flew back through the hole as if it had never left it in the first place. The only evidence that Aberion had thrown the hammer was the various bits of people that still clung to it.

Said man gave the hammer a look and scrunched his nose up in distate. "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Now I have to go get it dry cleaned."

Sol just shook his head, sighing. "Look, we can go get it dry cleaned latter (why did a -hammer- need dry cleaning?), but for now lets just go get my cof-"

It was at this moment Sol was knocked off his feet by a great 'whoosh' of displace air. Aberion, who had been furiously trying to shake the meaty, gristly bits of people that stubbornly besmirched his hammer in a post-mortem act of defiance, let go of the hammer.

It sailed high into the air...and higher...and higher...

Both of them took to the air slowly, watching the arc of the hammer (still visible from both the sun reflecting off the surface, as well as the trail of intestines that spread across the sky like a meaty rainbow). And, Sol mused, the hammer was going to naturally fall right in the middle of That Smug Fortress in the distance.

'That Smug Fortress', being the name the Axis of Allies (and friends! As Aberion wanted to call it), gave to Lanstead.

As the hammer fell in the middle of the city with a 'boom', a faint cry of "my leg!" could be heard echoing in the morning air.

Axis of Allies: 1, Genesis Industries: 0

Still though, if Sol wanted to tabluate his own score sheet, he had lost so many points already it was a wonder he didn't just crawl back into bed.

There was silence for a long moment.

Sol fluttered back down to earth and stretched out his shoulders, yawning. "Welp, that sucks. Lets go get coffEEEEEEEEE!" Sol yelped as Aberion grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him back and forth.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THE ACCESS CODES ARE IN THAT HAMMER! WE CAN'T LET THEM FALL INTO ENEMY HANDS." Aberion yelled, his open maw spewing spittle everywhere like so many rounds of machine gun fire. Thankfully none hit Sol though, and he thanked the Powers That Be (himself) that Aberion had terrible aim.

Then the words hit his brain.

What the actual f**k.

He kept the access codes in his hammer?

Pushing himself out of Aberion's half-hearted grip, he looked back over to Lanstead and sighed for what was approaching the hundredth time this morning. But, Sol saw a silver lining in this. Perhaps Genesis Industries had coffee.


Oh yeah. Comments and critiques are appreciated by the way.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2016, 06:09:48 PM by Grinnin_Gin »